tie-up-my-hands

My face is painted Shades of purple and grey All done up Just for you A waste of twenty minutes For I am not Welcome by your side A shower and some tears Twirling around my toes Mascara stains the floor It’s all been washed away With my belief in you My belief in us I thought we understood each other I thought… That you would never Ever reduce me to nothing To tears so sour

after two weeks my heart is breaking my eyes are swollen my wrists are bleeding

Your air gives me Life Looking into you Feeling you Hearing you It’s all worth it For just one More second To hold you

All I need Is to hear You Look into your Eyes Believe it is Okay Become filled with Reassurance And when I Search Far and wide You are Nowhere

Papa.. I have searched for the one memory of you that makes me smile the most and that I want to be the way that I will always remember you. I want to be able to pinpoint the exact happiest time that I have had with you and hold onto that thought for as long as possible... but I can’t pinpoint it and I can’t hold onto just one thought. with every thought that crosses my mind, five more show up and the cycle is never ending. I can close my eyes and be at the pond with you and Jens.. feeding the ducks and being afraid to get close enough to one so that I could actually feed it. I can hear you tell me that they won’t bite and t

I think back To my empty eyes And I feel that way Now I am not meant to Feel empty I am not meant to Question us Not like this This is supposed to last Forever… But as I…. Lay on the floor In my best friends bathroom I think of you And I think I am over you

I have waited for you For a guy to respect me And treat me like a human You did that For just under two months Then gave up Stopped caring Turned your back to me Fuck you.. Holding my hand Is too much Telling me I am beautiful Is too much The simple things in life Are all too much Fuck you.. I just want to be held I just want to be desired I just want things to be how they were Everything I ask of you is a waste You would deny me a breath of air If it came to my needing to ask And all I want Is to be held For just this one last night

I see you two together I pretend I don’t care I can hear your laughter the inhalation of smoke the plans for the deal and I am not there with you not next to him I hide my jealousy it is bursting at the seams you ask if I mind I lie I am getting what I deserve I have done this to you and now you are simply returning the favor a joke about the cabin tears filling my eyes I turn my head and look away I wipe my eyes before you can see I will hide like this forever continually wiping my face constantly turning the other cheek

i dont want to see you hear you or know that you exist i could care less… this caller id is useless when your number   is blocked why wont you leave me alone? these tears are for nothing i fucking hate you...... your hair your eyes your back but, nevermind you. i fucking hate me.

I have laid in your arms these past two nights… I have turned my head to the left to peek a glance at your sleeping face… I have heard the passion in your voice when you tell me I am beautiful… I have felt you lean over and kiss my shoulder while I was pretending to be asleep… I wonder if we are meant to be… if the world is pushing us together, showing us how our lives should be spent with each other we have become so close, yet people keep us apart; circumstances keep us apart… and even with the roadblocks ahead of us, when I wake up in the morning, I am content…